I love a good piece of satire. Unfortunately, we appear to be living in a world where satire and reality have become so closely intertwined, it's sometimes difficult to tell the difference. Which is why I was left scratching my head when I discovered in my newsfeed this morning.
I mean, on the face of it, it's inherently ridiculous. Posted by Icon CEO and founder Kennan Davison (who proudly lists their League of Legends ranking in their bio), the advert is so full of outrageous copy, it has to be made up (via ). Try the first line out for size to see what I mean:
"Our culture would make 99.99% of people go crazy. And that’s by design. We move faster, demand more, & think bigger than almost anyone else. Before joining, please make sure you genuinely align with these values."
"A-players only. Only A-players can hire A-players. We'd rather hire one A-player and pay an above-market amount (that someone is happy with) than hire three B-players and pay market.
"Drive. You're hungry to do what it takes for us to win. You likely have a massive chip on the shoulder and/or a neurodivergent brain. Work is a key part of your identity/fulfillment in life."
Or my favourite:
"Shameless. Be extremely annoying if it means winning. Check-in on things 10x daily. Double (or quadruple) text if someone hasn't responded. Call them too."
Be extremely annoying, ey? I think I've got this one covered, the rest of you can all go home. Actually, I have to give you one more choice cut, because I love the phrasing:
"Fast firing. If someone isn't an A player, we part ways quickly (with respect). Please be okay with this. We do paid trials to help de-risk this."
As long as it's with respect, sure. In all seriousness, though, the more you read on, the more it really does sound like a CEO with a self-described chip on their shoulder. Here's an excerpt from their bio, found underneath the ad itself:
"I want to deliver insane value to our customers. I want to create generational wealth for my team & investors. I want to break the $0 to $100M ARR world record. I want to make the $12M I spent on the icon.com domain worth it. I want to win so bad that I'm sacrificing my life working 7 days a week for it. I'll even eat dog poop if it means winning."
Sheesh. Doesn't that sound like a boss you'd love to work for? Still, if it is a piece of satirical fiction, it's a remarkably well-angled one. Having performed the whole job market dance a few years ago myself, it's all too recognisable. Anyone who's had to sort through tech industry job listings will have seen something similar, although usually with more subtle language.
Still, maybe I should give Davison the benefit of the doubt here, and say that their own personal experiences (they admit to previous failings, and an unsuccessful college career) may have led them to write something unintentionally unhinged.
I mean, they do appear to be a real person, given that for $12 million earlier this year—and the company itself is reported to have secured a substantial from a notable group of investors, including Peter Thiel's Founders Fund.
Or perhaps I should use this opportunity to write a long and nuanced take on how late-stage capitalism has led us to this point, and everything is awful now in this tech bro, corporate-led world. Or perhaps I could point out that their bio photo gives me a slight twinge, the kind that suggests it may be AI-generated?
In all honesty, though, I'm going to let the words speak for themselves. Thanks, but no thanks, dear Kennan. I'd rather live under a bush and make balloon animals than work for a company with that sort of ethos. No hard feelings, though, yeah?
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